My Fight With Life: What happens when you lose faith in religion?

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Over the past five years, I've felt alone. Alone in my beliefs mainly. Then, once in a while, I meet someone who shares my belief or lack, thereof, and it makes me believe that I'm not crazy. That I'm not off. That me not wholeheartedly believing in something like everyone else can actually be a thing. And, not just a thing, but a justifiable stance.
People lose faith in religion, God and question what they are taught quite often but it's such a taboo topic that it isn't broadcasted (especially in countries where the majority of the population is very religious). Losing faith in religion or God is a world-shattering process. It affects your past, present, future and how you view yourself and the world around you. In the process of defining your beliefs, you often experience many unique things.

You feel liberated

Many religions place a massive amount of guilt and fear on its members to keep them in check. When you lose religion, you lose fear. People may try to warn you that the change in your beliefs may land you in some form of eternal punishment but it no longer raises fear in you. People may shudder at your response that, "I am doing good things so if there is a God and he decides to punish me forever for not believing in something that leaves room for reasonable doubt, then, so be it."

 You see history different

As a person of African descent, I now allow myself to question things and see things in different lights. I allow myself to ponder on questions concerning my ancestors and Christianity. I allow myself to feel conflicted between pro- African, the slavemaster's religion and how they are now forever intertwined. I see the links between religion and other historical ills. I don't feel guilty for questioning the actions or inaction of a supposedly all-powerful god.

You question everything

You become skeptical of everything when something you once believed with your heart and  soul is found to be untruth. I feel like I'm being annoying many times but it becomes part of your survival instinct to question everything. No one is exempt from this skepticism. It's exhausting.

You become very quiet

You become a great observer. You are now able to observe the good and bad in all religions without feeling that you must put yours above the rest. You are no longer in the "my god is better" war.

 Or, very loud

You become a warrior. You speak out against the ills of religion that you see around you. You expose their hypocrisy, child abuse, inconsistencies, mind-control and other life suckers. You do these out of fear for the people who are losing their lives to religion. 

You lose friends

The stigma attached to those who do not believe in religion or God is strong. Maybe people will pre-judge you. They will see you as being satanic, demonic or, at best, misguided, because this is how religion has wired their brains in order to retain their members. Believers= good. Non- believers= bad. 

You appreciate more

You no longer have to filter your preferences through the boundaries of others. You are allowed to appreciate the world we live in instead of pining away for another. As a result, you look for the beauty in all people and things because you know that this is all you've got. 

You miss belief

There is great comfort in belief. It gives you purpose and direction. Without belief, many people feel lost and alone. You may even wish that you were still within that safety net so you can still enjoy a measure of mental ease.

You see your true self

Who are you when you lose the belief that anyone is watching you, or that there isn't eternal punishment for bad behavior and you don't feel any accountability to do good so that it reflects well on your religion？ Who you are is revealed when all these things are stripped away. Under no obligation at all. This is when you do good straight from the heart. This is the genuine part of you. 

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